Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
