just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
