I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Me too!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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