we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
