i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
