dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
