Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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