The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Dear god my vagina.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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