My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
