True but thats because hes a fetus.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
