I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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