My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
