I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
