hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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