I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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