I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
