it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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