Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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