My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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