real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
