Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
