i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
