My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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