If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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