hotel room ftw
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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