Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she pinky promised me she was 18
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
