If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
