It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How does one acquire holy water?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
