So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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