If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
