Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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