Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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