Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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