I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
