The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
