You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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