ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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