I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
