dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
