You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
