i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
A bitchslap is in order.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
