in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
