So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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