I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
