did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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