..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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