sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
