whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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