I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
