bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
