so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
