so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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