May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
